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Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!
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Yelling at me for barking.. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!
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Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
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Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!
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Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
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The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
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Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
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Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
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Dog sweaters. Hello?? Haven't you noticed the fur?
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How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
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