Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans
- After your humans give you a bath, Don't Let them Towel Dry you!
Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets.
This is especially good if it's right before your humans' bedtime.
- Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your
ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done
something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the
house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works
when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
- Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then
the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at
the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
- Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff
around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you
choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
- Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the
busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your time and make sure
everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have
forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
- When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every
time a strange human walks by.
- Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing
fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
- Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them
at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something
terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans
is panic-stricken and close to tears).
- When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time.
Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
- Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and
make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get
back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after
going outside, this will drive them nuts!)